Our time in India consisted of very stark differences and many contradictions; honestly, the past two weeks have been a little difficult for us. As the world's largest democracy, India is developing rapidly and already has some of the advances we have in America. However, many Indians remain mired in poverty and the economic disparity has perpetuated appalling displays of racketeering, outright theft and antiquated views on gender. Never have Alex and I felt so out of place or so at risk. At the same time, we loved admiring the historic sights, tasting local cuisines and exploring each beautiful place we visited. While we understand the sadness and level of desperation that forces one to try and cheat or steal or take advantage of our obvious Western tourist status, being scammed, groped, stared down and pick-pocketed is still a horrible experience and it really took away from our time here. Having said all of that, we were lucky to meet some truly kind and welcoming people in India - most notably the Reddy family! - and we are doing our best to let the great memories outweigh the bad. Below are our top takeaways.
The Taj Mahal: the highlight of our trip to India.
1. The first thing we noticed upon arriving in Mumbai is that there are not nearly as many tourists and very few Westerners. We stick out and people stare at us - at length and without discretion. By now we are pretty used to it, but it still makes me feel a little uncomfortable since it's mostly Indian men who look me up and down.
2. There is a very serious though unspoken dress code. Shoulders and knees are essentially never shown - for both men and women - and most women wear very modest, loose-fitting outfits. I unknowingly made the mistake of wearing shorts and a tank top on our first day in Mumbai and while no one said anything to me, I quickly realized why we were being stared at (more than usual).
3. Poverty is omnipresent. We thought we were prepared but we didn't appreciate the average living conditions until seeing firsthand how many people live. Much of the urban areas are littered with garbage, creating a landscape that hardly seems livable. We felt sad, helpless and dumbstruck a lot of the time - it was very difficult to keep from feeling overwhelmed.
4. Indian food is delicious and much more varied than we previously thought. Approximately 50% of the country is vegetarian (India has more vegetarians than the rest of the world combined!) so we tried a lot of different items and particularly enjoyed the chickpea and lentil dishes. Having missed oatmeal for the past few months, I fell in love with Dalia, a split-grain breakfast food similar to porridge. Luckily, we weren't afflicted by the infamous "Delhi Belly" but I'm not so sure we avoided Buddha Belly - most Indian food seems very rich and heavy. Diet starts tomorrow, right?
5. Antiquated gender roles are deeply entrenched in India's culture. After a few early incidents, we learned to let Alex do most of the talking as some men would simply not address me. (At one hotel, I was asked to sit down while Alex checked in...even though the reservation was under my name!) Women rarely work outside the home, dress very conservatively so as not to attract attention and are almost never alone. Alex and I found this to be very unnerving but still respected the cultural norms while out and about. Harder was biting my tongue when asked if I'd pose for a picture with a group of men or when a group of teenagers bent down and tried to look up my dress.
6. Walking is almost never the way to get around. In each place we visited, we found the major sights and destinations to be very spread out, which makes sense because the main cities are massive, each with millions and millions of inhabitants. Additionally, many of the streets are crowded and without sidewalks, making walking a particular challenge given the traffic (and tuk tuks!)
7. Trust won't get you very far. After a few early encounters where Alex and I were very obviously being taken advantage of, we essentially adopted a "trust no one" attitude (or as he might say it, we adopted an "everyone is trying to scam us" attitude). It was a very sad shift for us but one we felt was necessary in order to avoid being cheated. Whereas previously we were of the more traditional "innocent until proven guilty" mindset, we realized that 90% of people who approached us had ulterior motives and we always needed to have our guard up.
8. Honesty isn't always the best policy. We found ourselves experts in the art of deception pretty early on so as to avoid unnecessary confrontation. Saying we already had tours and transportation booked, that we weren't interested in shopping and that we were out of money are a few examples that quickly come to mind.
9. Not everyone is out to take advantage of you. Despite our negative experiences we still met some of the nicest people during our time in India. The staff at most of our hotels, the family we stayed with in Chennai, a few taxi drivers and fellow tourists all left us feeling grateful to have met them.
10. Political corruption is rampant throughout India. The Reddys, our hosts in Chennia, thought this was the single biggest issue holding back the development of the country. Based on some of the things they described, we have to agree: for instance, less than 50% of funds allocated to help the poorest citizens arrives at its intended destination. Middlemen take a piece of all public funds spent throughout the country. It's so bad that there is an advertising campaign encouraging everyone to open a bank account so that government money can be deposited directly (to cut out the scammers in between). The plight of many of India's citizens is heartbreaking; the fact that a minority of corrupt bad actors perpetuate the problems of the less fortunate is disgraceful.
Peak: Sunrise at the Taj Mahal
Pit: Alex getting robbed
Next Stop: Dubai
